I Am Prussian, Know Ye My Colors?
by Chihori Anigma
Summary: Prussia is left depressed by the dissolution. He hasn't told anybody and nobody has suspected anything yet. He is getting worse quickly and eventually he realizes that to really be happy again he needs help. But that means he has to tell someone and that would be admitting to a weakness. He can't do it, but he has to.


**I Am Prussian, Now Ye My Colors?**

_A/n: This first chapter is a song-fic using the anthem of Prussia._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, the Kingdom of Prussia or its anthem. But it would be really cool to own a kingdom._

**I am Prussian, know ye my colors?**

Prussia sighed. Many of the countries seemed to be ignoring him after dissolution. Or maybe they weren't aware of his existence?

That could be. At least he still had Antonio and Francis and Germany.

He was living in West's basement now. It was roomy and had a lot of wall space, on which Prussia had hung posters.

He had also hung up his old flag. He raised his head to look at it now.

**The flag floats black and white before me;**

**That for freedom's sake my fathers died.**

Prussia shook as the words passed through his head.

_Yet you weren't able to save them, were you, Gilbert? Now they are nationless because of you._

**Never will I trembling quail,**

**As them I will there.**

Prussia had never talked to anyone, not even to his best friends, about the dissolution.

That would be to admit a weakness and he was above any kind of weakness. ( Wasn't he?)

**Be it rainy day, be it cheerful sunshine,**

**I am Prussian and want nothing but to be a Prussian.**

As Prussia began singing the words to his anthem he brightened a little.

Even though there had been the dissolution he hadn't vanished. His body and soul were here even if he had no true land.

**With affection and loyalty I approach the throne**

**From which gently a father talks to me;**

**And as the father is faithful to his son,**

**I will be faithful with him and falter not.**

**The bonds of affection are strong.**

A vision of Old Fritz appeared in front of Prussia's eyes. His days with Fritz had been the happiest years of his life.

Though Prussia was by far the elder of the two, Prussia often felt as if Fritz was his foster father.

Fredriech gave wise advice and would talk to Prussia more than any other ruler ever had. He was the only one Prussia had ever really opened his soul to.

**Hail my Fatherland!**

_Now they have no Fatherland, _Prussia poked at himself. _They are looking for you and you are not there._

**The king's call penetrates my heart so deep:**

**I am Prussia; want nothing to be but a Prussian.**

Prussia glanced at the desk his knife was hidden in. He could take it out, draw it across his veins and it would be over.

Now that he was without land or people he could hurt, or even kill himself. If he did he could be reunited with Old Fritz again…

But no! He was Prussia! He was strong! He could bear everything and he could stay alive!

**Not every day may gleam with sunshine:**

**From time to time a cloud and shower nears.**

**So never may anybody read in my face,**

**That not all my wishes are satisfied.**

Prussia always kept a mask on his face. Especially if he was feeling more depressed than usual. Then he would smile even wider and say how awesome he was almost every other sentence.

**Although near and far**

**Quite many would like to change places with me;**

**Their happiness is deceit and their freedom is illusion:**

**I am Prussian, want nothing but to be a Prussian.**

Prussia knew that sometimes the other nations would joke about trading lives and they so often joked about wanting to be him.

"He's so happy and confident," they would say.

Prussia could laugh in their faces. Inside he was neither happy nor confident. Yet, for some reason he could not explain, he would never change places with anyone, no matter how good their lives seemed.

**And when the evil storm roars around me,**

**The night burns in lightning's blaze:**

**Even so, it has stormed worse in the world already**

**And what didn't tremble was the Prussian courage.**

Prussia's people had always been brave. They, together with Prussia, had withstood the Thirty-Years War, the Great Northern War, the Silesian Wars, the Napoleonic Wars and the German wars.

**My rock and oak tree shatter,**

**I will not tremble.**

**May it storm, may it thunder, may lightning strike wildly,**

**I am Prussian, want nothing but to be a Prussian.**

Prussia was proud, not only of being himself, but of being Prussian.

He knew that some nations, like Poland or Russia, were not really connected to their people and did not feel as much pain when their people got hurt.

However, he Prussia, was not only connected to his people, but now counted himself as one of the people.

Even now, he could feel many of his people, wandering around in their towns and cities, going to work and school, singing their new anthem and wanting their own nation back.

**And we, who on the East and North sea-shore**

**Were standing as guard, hardened by wave and wind,**

**We, who since Duppel by the band of blood **

**Chained to Prussia's Throne and people,**

**We will not backwards look,**

**No, forwards with confidence!**

**We call sound at all the world unto:**

**Really, we are Prussians, will be Prussians!**

Suddenly Prussia realized that he was Prussia, was still Prussia and would always be Prussia. Nothing could kill him!

He thundered up the steps, calling out for Germany. "West! West! Got any good video-tapes?"

But even as he lay on the couch next to Ludvig, watching the movie they had chosen a worm of self-doubt crawled back into his mind.

_You aren't as amazing as you think, right Prussia?_


End file.
